The Shima Curse
by PinkCardigan
Summary: Why did all the Shima men have to fall for the most hard-headed, controlling, and shorted-fussed women? Shima Renzou was so crazy for Izumo-chan that he didn't care if she was the most hardheaded woman he had ever met. Shima/Kamiki


**Disclaimer: I do not own Ao No Exorcist .**

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><p>There was this stupid tradition for every Shima man to marry the bitchiest woman they could find.<p>

It probably started way before the his parents, but Shima Renzou didn't want to think back that far: too troublesome. His old man and his mother would have to do, plus he could remember those days without having to use his brain power so much.

Shima remembered how him, Bon and Konekomaru would play all day along the mountain or in the gardens while their parents worked at the Inn or Temple or were out on missions for True Cross. He remembered whenever it got dark, going back to his parent's room at night, only to be scolded about sixty-seven times by his mother about how dirty his face was, how scratched his knees were, how tangled his hair was… Blah blah blah. At the time, he thought she was the worst thing to ever happen to his life.

She had never cut him any slack either. And he was even the youngest! Weren't mothers suppose to baby the babies? She'd line her sons up every morning, inspecting their outfits and making sure they had brushed their teeth and combed their hair. Renzou was always last, always the one to get the most attention - and heat - from mama. He'd remember how his mother would not only embarrass him by whipping his face with her fingers and spit, but how she'd do it even to her husband, a respectable man of the Buddhist faith!

He remembered how she would scold pops whenever he came back from an exorcism about how he was gone for too long, how he had forgotten to put out the plants before he'd left, how he didn't pray long enough for their family's health. She was the best nagger Renzou knew, probably even more than Bon's scary ass mother. She earned the title because she was so damn persistent. She would never drop a subject once she picked it up, and if you told her to drop it, she'd just snap at you then proceed into spank-mode.

His mama put too much effort into making her husband's and son's lives as miserable as possible.

Then Juu-nii and Mamushi happened.

Boy, if he thought his mama was mean, he had no idea what other terrible womanly-powers were out lurking in the world. Mamushi was on a whole other level, like fifty-seven levels above his mother.

Laying there, in the classroom, with his head on the desk, ignoring the lesson Okumura-sensei was going on and on about, Shima shuddered at the thought of the first time he heard Mamushi fight with such venom towards his older brother. It was one of those days where he'll never forget: the two had been on holiday from the Academy and were sitting in the dining hall. Shima remembered standing just out of sight, watching from behind the mask of nightfall.

"Damn, Mamushi, you should really wear you're hair like that again." He paused, taking a sip from his tea, "You looked damn good."

"You're such an idiot, Shima!" Mamushi had yelled, kicking him from under the table and turning a shade too pink for a mid-autumn night. "Don't say things like that!"

"It's only the truth, women." Juu-nii had stated in a calm manner.

"Don't call me women, you lazy, stupid idiot!" Mamushi stood and turned to leave. She stopped on a dime and turned back around and stormed towards Juuzou, instead of summoning her loyal familiars, she swung back and slapped Juuzou across the face. "That's for saying such things to me, idiot."

Renzou shuddered again at his desk. He remembered standing outside, watching his brother, his cool, calm and collected brother that he looked up too so much, being totally owned by a chick. The expression on Juu-nii's face was priceless and at that moment, years and years ago, Renzou understood that Juu-nii enjoyed Mamushi yelling at him.

There had been other times, yeah, that he'd caught Juu-nii and Mamushi together, but that first time stuck out in his head; it was after that moment, he started to understand why his old man and Juu-nii put up with these crazy women.

It wasn't until he entered the academy and met Izumo Kamiki did he _truly_ understand why his old man and Juuzou put up with such crazy women. After that instances of catching his brother in the dining hall, pondering the relationship between his old man and mama, and meeting the smoking babe that was Izumo-chan, Shima Renzou had already made up his mind (at the tender age of fifteen, might he add) on the subject.

Coming back to reality, he sighed again, turning his head to the other side of his desk so he could get a look at the girl that reminded him so much of the Shima Curse (both Juuzou and Kinzou coined the term after a huge fight between their mother and father).

There she sat. So perfect. So criminally perfect. Not only was she a looker but she was just like his mother and Mamushi: scary. He liked it whenever she got into a fight with Bon or Okumura-kun. He liked the way she would cross her arms and have that cute little pout on her face before completely exploding at the poor victim. Renzou could only hope that he would be that poor, unfortunate victim one day.

See, Shima Renzou was not like Okumura Rin. He didn't like the quiet, submissive types that were all cutesy and whatever. Sure that was pretty chill at first, and he kinda dug Moriyama and her cute little face and bod, but she just wasn't the same as _her._ And there was only so much a cute face could do for him. It wasn't like he wanted to imagine Moriyama-chan being the total hot, dominatrix babe like the ones in his magazines.

Nope, that role only belonged to one girl (one girl that would probably kill him if he ever said the word 'dominatrix' around her - which kinda turned him on even more): Izumo-chan.

God, he couldn't help but to smile as he watched her from across the room. She was just the girl for him. Everything that had been engraved about women over his short, fifteen year old life was in Izumo Kamiki. She played hard to get, looked great in just about anything, so damn smart, and had the shortest fuse imaginable. The way she said things, he couldn't contain a wider grin, it was just so, _perfect_. It was like she was always talking down on people.

He especially liked it when she talked down to him.

He slowly sat up before slumping back into his chair. He ignored the look he got from Konekomaru and pulled out his cell. Over the course of Cram School, he had somehow managed to get her number. Yeah, it had taken weeks upon months of asking. He even asked Bon to beat her up for it once, but nonetheless, he had gotten it.

Shima flipped open his phone and opened her number. He probably texted her five times a day, ten on the weekends. She usually never answered (again, turn on), but he texted her anyways. The few times she had responded were usually angry messages telling him to not contact her unless there was some sort of life-threatening emergency, in which case, she would only consider showing up to help him.

'_Izumo-chaa~n. U look bored~. P.s. U look good today;)' _

She didn't really look bored (but she did look bitchin' in her uniform today, as she did everyday), she looked pretty into whatever Okumura-sensei was saying but Shima didn't want to think of something else to say, too much effort. Though, if he really wanted to, he would think of anything and everything if Izumo-chan demanded it. He waited and watched her. Slowly she lowered her hand inside her pocket and pulled out her mobile. He watched as she opened it. In a split second he was the happiest man in the world: she took one look at the message, turned in her chair and glared at him.

That look! Oh, that look! It was what he lived for. It was the look he imagined as he lay in his bed at night, it was what he dreamed about. The way her cute little eyebrows scrunched together and her beautiful brown eyes narrowed at him. Izumo-chan was obviously disgusted but that didn't bother Shima; instead, he grinned and waved at her. She immediately snapped her head around and shoved her phone back into her pocket.

The rest of class went by with Shima laying on his desk, arms folded under his head. He was lazily listening to Okumura-sensei's lecture but was mostly thinking about Mamushi and how Izumo-chan totally out-bitched her, totally out-womaned her.

Whenever he asked his old man why he let mom order him around like a little puppy, all he'd say was: "Son, you'll understand one day… Once you find that special someone."

"No way!" He had said. Looking back, Shima couldn't help but to smile at his naivety and innocence. How silly of him to not understand the meaning behind his father's words. Of course he was right, he was usually right when it came to these sorts of things. Shima just had to wait until that one person came around. And once that one girl kicked open the door, Shima knew he no longer had to be the total cool pimp he was: all he had to do was sit back until the time came to show Izumo-chan how perfect she was for him.

It was only a matter of time before he would be waking up every day to verbal beatings and a totally hot Izumo-chan wearing a yukata.

As classes ended for he day, Shima sat back and watched as Izumo-chan stood and started walking towards him. She had that same disgusted, you're-way-too-out-of-your-league expression as she stopped in front of his desk.

"Hey, Izumo-chan. Wanna go and -"

"Don't text me again, stupid!" She interrupted him, another trait shared with his mother and Mamushi, "And stop saying embarrassing things to me, you womanizer!"

And then she did something so wonderful, so mind blowingly classic that Shima couldn't help but fall just a little harder for the girl. _She kicked the chair under his totally smitten teenage body. _She might have well stolen his beating heart and ate it for dinner. As he lay on the ground, Bon and Konekomaru and the rest of the class surrounding him, asking him if he was okay, Shima knew that Izumo-chan totally wanted him.

As far Shima Renzou was concerned, today was a success.

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><p><strong>I LOVE SHIMAIZUMO. **

**..And I know she's a 'traitor' but I really like Juuzou/Mamushi for some reason .  
><strong>

**I know there aren't a lot of AoNoExorcist stories and literally no shima/izumo but imma right more anywaaaaayys.**


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